Sunday, December 7, 2008

Don't Worry....I'll Go Home Again

Hi Y'all! How are you? I have run away from home again today. I'm at Starbucks with the blessing of my sweet and very understanding husband. This is my second day of running away. Last night I went to watch football at Kent and Cathy's. I have to say that I just love that Tim Tebow. What a sweet boy. Did you hear him thank Jesus, His Lord and Savior after their win? Just because of him I was able to root for the Gators yesterday, which is a first for me. Although I loved Danny Wuerfful, too. Anyway, it is finals week for Matthew, hence my need to run away from home. My precious son is far too casual about his schooling for my taste. He gets distracted so easily and acts like an 18 year old. Imagine that?! He and I spend a lot of time at home together since he can't find a job and is only in class 2.5 days a week. I cannot seem to not nag him about his school. I KNOW...I said I would...but I can't seem to keep my mouth shut. So, since I can't leave him alone when I'm there, I decided to run away so he could do things his way. Pass or fail its his deal. I am sure I underestimate his abilities, but seriously I just can't stand by when he should be studying and watch him check his myspace, facebook or email..it drives me bonkers! You can feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for all my kids and if you know me you know that I'm not even kidding. It is overwhelming to me the power we have as parents. We are by far the most influential relationship in our children's lives....for their ENTIRE lives. How they respond to life is completely connected to the things they "heard" from us growing up. They will never get over us. I don't mean that they can't overcome us with God's help, but their natural responses(as opposed to supernatural God learned responses) to things is forever connected to us. Our parents are the voices we hear in our head...the endless loop tape that we have to replace with Jesus' voice in order to be all He intends us to be. I find that a bitter pill to swallow...aren't you glad I shared? It is just what I've been thinking about for the last few months. I have mentioned before that I am always looking to improve my parenting and I do a lot of self-examination about it. God is so faithful to reveal the mistakes I am making to give me a chance to change the way I do things and I am grateful for that. Still, the only things I've ever wanted to do well are relationships...with God, David, my kids and my friends. I have put my hand to the plow in this and I would really like to do it well, but in my natural self I am really ill-equipped for the task. Still, God promises that He will help all of us to be His representative to those around us. He will give back the years the locusts have eaten...that goes for me AND my kids. He is the One who will help my kids get over the wrong messages I've sent to them and He is the One who will be their comfort and their rescuer. He has been that to me. I am trusting He will be that to them. I still wish I could be the perfect daughter, wife, mom and friend, but I am so glad that I have a God who promises to clean up after me when I fail. He wants to be the voice you hear in the hard times. He wants to be your encourager all the days of your life. So, what is one line, false belief, self concept that your parents fed you that you have needed God to help you to overcome with His sweet truth? I'd love to hear about it. He does love you so. Take a minute and soak that in...Immanual, God with us. Wow...love you, Jackie Sue
P.S. Read a fantastic book..."Reckless Faith" a must read....here's some info on it.
P.P.S. There is still time to donate monies here for our orphans in China. They need you!!!

11 comments:

Jen said...

Hey sweet friend, thanks for this great post. I'm sure you know some of my false beliefs. :)

It was so nice to talk to you today even if it was short. I can't wait to see you in 2 weeks!! I'll call soon, once I figure out which days i'll be in Orlando...

Love you! Jen

Cassie - Homeschooling Four said...

Great post! You are the person I quote on this subject :)

Andrea said...

I'm pretty sure that I have already tainted Emily--when she came home with her school pics this year the first thing she said was, " I did better this year momma!!!" poor thing. I should know better especially because to this day I still remember my mother telling the doctor I didn't need a plastic surgeon to do my stitches because I would never be Miss America!!!!!

Kim said...

I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home but I must say I was taught some weird things--for example...No, you can't get your ears pierced because if God wanted you to have holes in them he would have put them there! We also did not have TV and could not go to movies-my kids would have heart failure.

Pete said...

Yeah, totally meant to put the es-cah-paid joke here. *sssssiiiiiiiiiiigh* lol

Pete said...

And you are a great parent, really. We wouldn't be who we are today without you :) Love you so much!!!

Valarie Daly said...

There are plenty that unfortunately I have passed on to my kids. The one that sticks out the most is disapproval, ughh-I thought I would never do that to my children since I knew what it did to me :-( I remember when Bren was in 9th grade and I was upset with his lack of care about trying his best to get good grades for bright futures. I told him he can just flip hamburgers for the rest of his life bc we didn't have money for his college education! He's not flipping hamburgers, but he is paying for his own school.

Julie said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts/struggles with us. What a smart move to just leave the house instead of stay and be endlessly frustrated. I know it must be so hard not to stay on his case!

Jaime said...

Something that sticks out HUGE from my parents is something that isn't appropriate language to quote. But, my Jesus has done such a great work in me and speaks truth to me daily. I just have to be willing to listen to the right one! Oh, Jackie, this is a great post and wonderful reminder for me as a parent to be careful of the things I say to my children. Oh Jesus, have mercy on me!

"Reckless Faith" is on my bookshelf and never read. I didn't know much about it. Since you reccomend it, I will need to crack it open!

Love you!
Jaime

Abby said...

I love you! I learn so much from your struggling with your kids. Maybe THAT'S how God is using you to train the "younger women" :)!

Jaciromer said...

Hey jack funny u should ask. The Lord brought one incident to mind yesterday morning. Being 9 yrs old and spending 4 days in the hospital going through a battery of tests while my mom worked. She came in the evening only and I went through all the testing by myself during the day. Very vivid memories. But God reminded today that He is my safety... Just wish I would have known that at 9. So now of course I am going to address my children's experiences to help them understand our great need of Jesus in those times that I have failed them miserably. What I find so interesting is how those instances in our childhood play out in our adulthood. God is so good to expose our hurts so we can be healed by Him.