Sunday, February 11, 2007

Birthday parties with little girls; songs with dying fathers

Today was a good day. I mean a really good day. We started out at church and then went from there to a little girl's birthday party. Now this wasn't just any little girl, it was one of Davie's friends from China. Lexi and Davie were in the same orphanage in China and our families traveled together to get our girls. I have discovered that there is something about seeing Davie play with other little girls that look so similar to her that just melts my heart. I don't think I can explain it, but it just feels so right. I have been so oblivious of race for much of my life. Not that I didn't notice race, but I ignored the hugeness of being with people like me. I've never had to even wonder what it would be like to be the minority, not anywhere I've ever been, except while in China, but then I wasn't paying much attention to anything except my baby :) Whenever we attend a Families with Children from China function I love seeing Davie with little girls who have lived her "life". Today at the party, because Jenny and Russ have friends in the adoption community and it would seem because they have made the effort to surround Lexi with other Asian adoptees, Davie was just one of about 9 little Asian girls. It was so fun for her and for me. I am so grateful to God for having awakened my spirit to that part of Davie Anne. It meets a need in her, and it meets a need in me to hang with other adoptive parents. We just "get" one another. I don't have to explain why at my age, 45, that I still feel called to be a mom to a young baby. I don't have to try to explain my passion for adoption, they just "get" it. I love that! Davie and I both feel understood and accepted and that kindred spirit thing is sweet.

After our birthday party we went to see Dad. Yesterday I spent two plus hours with him. I read some of the Psalms to him and we talked and prayed together. It was a very very sweet time. At the end he told me his favorite hymn and we sang together. He knew the words better than me and how sweet that he got choked up every time on the words "I'll rest in His unchanging grace". At 78 and 45 Dad and I both know what it is to rely completely on the grace of our Lord. Through no merit of our own we have peace with God. Amazingly, today at church we sang that hymn. That is fairly remarkable since we rarely sing hymns. "The Solid Rock" will forever remind me of my sweet father in law. So today David, Davie and I went to see Dad again. Today there was a whole crowd of us and we sang for a good long while with Dad. It was precious. He is dying. We all know it. So we sing together to encourage him and to grieve that his time with us is short. We all want to release him and we so don't want him to suffer. He continues to amaze the doctors and us with his will to hang on, but still we know his time is short. He seems more ready today and more aware that heaven is not far off. Today was a day I will not soon forget.

Oh, and little Miss Eliana. Today I will email our visa applications to AWAA and I have gathered copies of the important papers we need to take with us when we travel. One thing a day....for Ellie...that is my goal. I can't wait to go get our little one. Really, my heart longs to hold her and love her and watch how God will use her in our family. We need her and she needs us. What could be more perfect than that?

1 comment:

SML said...

I was quite touched when I read this post. I can relate on many levels - at 45 I am awaiting to receive my referral for my little girl waiting in China. And, my father who is 85 is quite ill and lives about 2 hours away. It is very difficult when you know you don't have much time left and I so hope he will be able to meet his first granddaughter.